Natalie’s Rating:
Aww, what a puny little dick you have! With only a few inches, there isn’t much you can do with that! The average man is at least 5.5-7 inches so you’re a loser with a small dick! And for girth, most guys are at least 5 inches, so yeah, talk about lacking in both departments, sucker! How can you even call yourself a real man with a dick like that? An ideal size for a woman is 7-8 inches and 5-6 inches around, so sorry little man, you aren’t even close to pleasing a pussy anytime soon! Maybe you should try those dick enhancement pills to get you to be at least average so maybe you’ll get lucky and a woman might give you the time of day. Hahaha! I most certainly wouldn’t even look your way because I’m sure I could pin point you as being a fucking loser from a mile away! With a dick like that, loser is pretty much engrained in your forehead for all us women to see and run away from! Hahaha! I mean, look at the way your little head points at the top. It’s just aching and dying for a woman to love on it, isn’t it? Hell, you’re probably still a virgin because if any woman even got close to that dick I’m sure she turned away and said “no way” and wouldn’t even fuck your beta loser dick! Your shaft is like a thin pencil with a pointy little eraser at the top! Awww, perhaps your high school teachers would have liked to use your little pencil dick as an example of what a dick shouldn’t look like! “Don’t ever marry a guy with a dick like this if you ever want your pussy to be pleased” was the lesson of the day! Hahaha! That is cracking me up! I love making fun of beta losers like you who will never know what its like to have a sexy woman like me pay any attention to their loser dicks! Actually, you know where your dick belongs? It belongs in a tiny loser cage with a lock and the key should be thrown away so you could never, ever come out of the cage! Your dick doesn’t deserve to even be jerked off by you, not to mention a hot woman like me! Hell, this email is probably the most attention you’ve ever gotten from any woman and you’re probably over there jerking off just thinking about what it would be like! I’m sure your little dick can’t even hold it’s load for many strokes, especially in the presence of a hot woman like me! One look would even send your lose dick over the edge because that’s what loser dicks do. They blow their load before it’s time! How pathetic and sad! No woman wants to deal with a dick that blows too quickly! We want a real alpha cock that can pound our pussies for a long long night! Go lock yourself up, Thomas!
nats
Eanna’s Rating:What the actual fuck do you think you’re doing bothering us with even taking the time to review such a dumb cock? Your cock doesn’t even deserve to be looked at and you should feel privileged that I’m even going to send you this rating, fucker! You know darned well how dumb your cock is and how you can’t even call yourself a real man because your cock is a shrimpy dick that can’t even compare to a real man’s cock! You may wonder how you compare to average…..Ha, well, here you go! You don’t! Your cock doesn’t even deserve to be on the scale of anywhere near the word average because it is so small! Some would almost classify your cock as a micro-penis! LOL! That is fucking hilarious! Hot goddesses like myself demand a cock at least 8-9 inches and honey, you only have barely half of that! Do you think someone like me would be pleased with that? Hell no! Tommy Boy, take a walk because you’re just a pathetic joke and would not have a chance with a woman in a million years with a cock like yours! That cock doesn’t even deserve to be pleasured by your own hand, dude! It should be left alone to rot and die in your pants and never get to cum again! Your cock head is like a tiny torpedo ready to explode, but good luck finding anyone who will want to explode it for you! Ha!! I’m sure you’ve had plenty of dreams of one day having a hot girlfriend who actually wanted to fuck you, but have you ever considered there is a reason why you’re still single? Well, if not, let me clue you in! Your cock is so pathetic that I’m sure you couldn’t even get hard if a hot woman was anywhere near you! And so guess what, that makes you useless to us hot women. We need a real man who can get hard, stay hard and fuck us hard with a big cock, but you lack in all of those categories! Poor poor little dick! Oh I know, maybe I can recruit some of my hot girl friends to come over for you and tempt you with their hotness, only to lock your cock up along with you on a chair and leave your dumb ass there until maybe you were lucky enough to be found by someone who would have mercy on you and let you out! Bwahahaha! That would give us sexy women so much pleasure knowing your dumb cock got what it deserved and got to be humiliated because, oh right, I forgot to tell you! We took the key to the cage, so ooopsie, you’re going to have to go to the emergency room to get that cage off! Imagine the looks you’d be getting from all the nurses when you’d have to tell them some sexy women locked you up and ran away with the key leaving your dumb ass to figure out how you were going to get out of that predicament!
Bethany’s Rating:Umm hello baby boy Thomas! You call that a cock? I hardly think so! That is one statement I would disagree completely with! Your cock is basically a skinny tree stump that should be cut down and sent to the wood chipper where it can be turned into mulch to fulfill the landscape dreams of a hot goddess such as myself! Your little cock doesn’t deserve to live another day! It’s so much smaller than the average man and heck, hot goddesses don’t even like “average”, so keep dreaming if you think we’d even remotely like your cock one bit! Hot goddesses need a big cock in their pussies, not a small stump of a cock like you’re packing in your pants! Imagine getting to watch a real man fuck a hot goddess with his really big cock! He could show you a thing or two about pleasing a woman and what you’ll never get the opportunity to explore with your pathetic cock! You’d be so sad getting to watch that because your poor little cock would be all hard and wanting to join, but knowing it doesn’t deserve to join in on all the fun because it’s too small to compete with the real man! Ewww, and it looks like in the last picture you might not even be circumcised?! Seems like alot of skin below your tiny head… Who the hell has a cock like that anymore? That was for back in the olden days when they didn’t know any better. Don’t you know a clean cut cock is so much better? I mean, not saying you’d actually get any attention with a circumcised cock either, but heck, maybe it would give you a slim chance at winning a little something in the dating pool at least! I guess one thing you at least have figured out for your dumb cock is that shaving is a good thing, so yay, baby boy, you have 1 tiny point on your record! That’s still definitely not enough to deserve any love from a woman though! You’ve got to work a little harder to get that to happen! I’m just saying you better have some other really good skills in your tool box if you ever stand a chance around women! Say like some mad tongue skills or magic finger skills! Otherwise you are destined to be a loser with no woman forever, baby boy! At least if you have some other skills it can kind of make up for the lack of cock greatness! Let’s face it, your cock has loser written all over it. Not only is it short, it’s also not girthy enough to even let a pussy feel good about fucking! It’s not even worth our time to pay any attention to a cock like yours and you’re better off jerking off to some porn all alone at home while thinking about all the hot girls who are getting fucked by huge cocks all around the world at the same time! I bet that could get you off really fast because loser cocks blow their loads in no time!
Hahaha, Oh Tom! You are such a laughing stock and worthless short dick man! We don’t want a short dick man! Go away and take care of yourself because that’s all you’re worth. You are destined to be alone for the rest of your life and having to wack yourself off because no woman would want to come near a dick like yours even with a ten foot pole! How pathetic is your tiny little length! Wow, that is one of the smallest dicks I’ve ever seen and you are much smaller than the average guy. Poor you with your mini dick! You can only ever dream of having a woman love you because you will never know what it truly is like to have a woman touch your dick! All you have left is your own pathetic hand to grip your dick as you sit there and jerk off to some lousy porn, wishing and hoping one day you will have the privilege of feeling what it’s like to have a woman’s touch. Duh, didn’t you realize there is a reason you are single, you freaking loser? It’s because your dick is garbage and completely worthless in a woman’s eyes! You need at least another 2-3 inches in length and 1-2 inches in girth to make any woman want you and your dick! Sorry, sweetheart, you are certainly lacking a whole lot below the belt! I feel sorry for your little dick never getting to cum for a real woman! Not to mention, ummm, hello, women like clean cut dicks, not ones with a little turtle head poking through that extra flap of skin that your mama left you with! Gawd, how disgusting is that? You should get the surgery now and cut that flap off and then maybe, just maybe you might have a slim chance of ever getting a woman to want to play with your dick! If I were in your life and knew about your small dick problems, I would have so much fun making you a laughing stock with my friends. I’d be taking pictures of you and showing all of my friends just how puny your dick is and we would all laugh and tell you right to your face just how much we love our real mens’ cocks that are double the size of yours and know how to pound our pussies so good! We would chastise you for being such a wimpy specimen of a male with your puny dick and we would call you names like puny dick man, shrimpy boy, beta male, and sissy. You’d be sitting there with your hard dick in your hands wishing we would come over and give that dick some attention, but all it would get is hysterical laughter while we showed you the tiny dick sign with our fingers. I bet your load of cum is even a puny worthless load, too! A small dick like that could never spew out a real man’s size load!
lys
Oh where do I even begin with such a loser cock like yours! Thomas, I do not even want to look at that without puking or laughing at the pathetic cock you think is actually good. Think again, mister! Can you even call that a cock? I highly doubt my friends would agree that it is even worth calling a cock! That is how sad and ugly your cock is! Let me take these pictures and ask around to get a consensus and I am sure the consensus would be you rate as a ridiculously small bitch with nothing to offer a woman whatsoever! Aww, does that make you cry so much little bitch? Good, that’s what you should be doing! You are such a waste of time for a woman to even look twice at because you can never make a woman feel any good with a cock like yours. I have seen hotdogs that look much better than your cock and that is pretty sad if I do say so myself! As far as how you rate in comparison to the average male….Hmmm, good question! And the answer is every single male is much better and bigger than you because your cock is one of the smallest ones I have ever laid my eyes on! Even the average guy is at least 5 inches long and thick and sad, but true, you do not even have that! You should take that cock and leave it in your pants for no one to see to keep you from embarrassing yourself in front of people! If you think you would be any good for a woman in your life, you can think twice about that because every woman would laugh at what you call a cock! That would be the only pleasure she could get from a cock like yours because it surely would not be filling up her pussy in any good way to make her feel good! She would be asking you if it was already in while you were trying to fuck her because she would not be able to feel if you were there or not! Your cock is so skinny that it would be like a tiny pencil slipping into a pussy and literally feeling like nothing was there! What a loser cock you have and I am so sorry to tell you the truth, but you will always be a loser man too! Poor you! I know, maybe what you should do is go back and live in your mom’s basement where you can hide your loser cock from the world so you can spare yourself the humiliation of being the loser that you are! Your mom will take care of you because she is the only woman that will ever truly love you! But you will still be stuck in that basement all by your lonesome self using a fake pussy sexy toy on your loser dick dreaming of how it would feel to be inside a real pussy!
tina
Wow, can I just say you are the world’s biggest loser with that puny cock? Poor thing and poor you for being such a lousy representation of the male population! HA! Tommy…. What a laugh! You are fooling your mind if you think your cock is anything more than boring and pathetic! Women would be incredibly bored with a cock like that in front of them. They would be wondering what the fuck they could even do with a cock that small! It is literally like a little water weenie toy that kids play with! Maybe that could be slightly entertaining for a woman to treat it like a water weenie! Look at how silly that pointy little head looks! It makes me laugh out loud at the thought of that tiny little firecracker spewing out a teensy bit of cum when what a real woman is looking for is a huge load of cum to satisfy her! You will never know what it feels like to be in the presence of a real woman because your cock is such a loser one that no one would ever care about it! I am sure you wish you had a big alpha cock like all your friends probably do and that you could fuck a woman like all your alpha male friends! I bet you live vicariously through those friends because you have never had the opportunity to try a woman out. Hell, you are probably sitting there as a virgin and that makes me laugh even harder! Little virgin boy is what we could call you! How sad for you and your tiny cock! You wish your cock was thick and delicious like all the porn stars you watch, but guess what, all the dick enhancement pills in the world could never make you come even close to those amazing dicks! How pitiful and unworthy you are! You are such a disgrace to the world of men and you disgust me to no end! I am not even sure if a hooker would be willing to be paid to suck that pitiful cock! Since it is so worthless, even a hooker would probably turn you away and send you to the next town to try again! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good luck with that one, dude! I guess at least one positive thing about your cock, if I have to say one nice thing, is you have learned how to manscape the area. At least you have figured that part out because a lot of guys haven’t. So yay, one tiny little good thing about your cock. And one last thing, what on earth is your cock not even circumcised for? Do you not understand what is good for you and how women think that kind of cock is disgusting and dirty? You need to fix that immediately for any remote possibility that a woman will consider dating you. If not, she’ll take one look at your uncut dick and run away so fast you won’t even have time to blink!
ky
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